Finding Life

Why?

We get asked why a lot.  That is, IF people can form coherent sentence structure while in shock.  Most people cannot understand how we can willingly choose to walk away from our lives in America to go live in a third world nation.  This is not something that can easily be put into words, and certainly cannot be explained in a 5 minute conversation in Target, while the kids are screaming.  So, for those of you dying to know I thought that I'd try to explain as best I can.  This has not always been our plan, in fact this was never even on our radar until 2 years ago.  Two years ago we both travelled to India, and our lives were forever changed.  I was at a loss for words to describe my feelings, but then I read the book "Kisses from Katie" about an 18 year old American girl living in Uganda adopting and raising 13 orphans, and giving up her "life".  When I read this book I was in absolute shock.  How in the world did she pull the words out of my head that I could not articulate about a different country on a different continent???  Here is the passage from her book:

"In December 2006, my mom and I were on our way to Uganda, where we would spend three weeks volunteering in a home for abandoned or orphaned babies.  During those three weeks, I lost part of my heart to a place I'd never been before.  I fell in love with Uganda as soon as I arrived.  After I woke up the first morning of our stay, I looked around and saw glistening white smiles against ebony faces; I heard happy voices, lilting language, and gentle laughter.  I saw strength and depth of character in people's eyes.  I found Uganda to be a beautiful land filled with beautiful people.  

...The people who called this fascinating country home astounded me with their gracious kindness and gentle ways.  I watched, wide-eyed as cattle, goats, and chickens roamed freely through the villages while curious children wandered among the shacks and makeshift businesses (such as little stores that sell canned drinks or washbasins or airtime for cellular telephones)  In the town, I saw the kind of everyday life that happens in every society, in its own way, take place as people shopped along Jinja's main street, did their banking, or met friends and chatted on the sidewalk.  When I went to the villages, I witnessed men and women shucking corn, cooking,  talking among themselves, or simply sitting beside the road quietly taking in the happenings of village life.

  Whether I was in the town or out in a village, children were everywhere.  When they saw a person with a different color of skin, they giggled and shouted.  Some ran toward me with glee, others shrieked and fled at the sight of a foreigner.  Those who weren't afraid of me grabbed my hands eagerly, as though we had been friends forever.  It was easy for me to fall in love with them and their country, its enormous beauty juxtaposing extreme poverty.  

  Most of our time was spent working at the babies' home feeding, changing, teaching, and playing with the many children there.  The children as well as the women who worked in the orphanage inched their way into my heart, leaving their little handprints all over it.  I would never be the same.

  I left Uganda in tears at the end of our trip, the country and the people now a part of me.  I cried all the way back to Tennessee and knew that someday I would return.  I was forever ruined for comfort, convenience, and luxury, preferring instead challenge, sacrifice, and risking everything to do something I believed in.  I realized it as I bathed babies and changed diapers in the babies' home, as I met older children and threw stones into the river with them, and as I did everything I could do to meet the basic needs so evident around me.  My heart had found its joy as I served the beautiful people the world calls "poor" but who seemed so rich in love to me.  I have no doubt that God was preparing a longing in my heart for Uganda many years before I could even find this country on a map; there is no other explanation for the instant love I felt for this place and these people.  Though the red soil eventually wore off the soles of my feet, Uganda never left my heart and was never far from my mind."

That was me.  Change Uganda to India and that was me.  Sitting on a plane, pulling out of the Tarmac, sobbing my eyes out.  I wasn't relieved to be leaving and getting some American food, my comfortable bed, kissing my perfect sweet girls.  I was utterly heartbroken.  I was devastated to be leaving, and I had no idea why.  It was a while before I could even wade through it in my own mind.  I was homesick.  I am homesick.  Everyday that I am not in India, I am sad.  There is an ache in my heart that will always be there.  I am now torn between two worlds.  My "home", and my heart.  Won't I be homesick in India, you better believe it.  Saying goodbye to family, and friends closer than blood is brutal.  Heart wrenchingly brutal.  But, I can live with that pain, because I have important work to do.  And now my eyes and heart know what that work is.  I love what Matthew 10:39 says "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."  So thats what we are doing; Finding Life.