Christmas Feelings

I had my game face on.  I really did.  I knew that Christmas away from home would be difficult, but if we just had a good attitude & powered through it everything would be ok.  But this is really tough.  I thought I could plan a fun filled and busy day to keep our minds distracted, but that didn't work out.  I thought it would be hard on the kids.  Nope, they are fine.  They never even noticed that we don't have a decorated house, that our tree is only 2 ft. tall with no lights.  They didn't notice that we didn't make or eat a single Christmas cookie, or drink any eggnog.  They didn't notice that we didn't have matching Christmas pajamas or warm socks.  They didn't notice that I haven't been blasting Christmas music on Pandora for the last 30 days.  But I did. 

It just doesn't feel like Christmas.  It's 82 degrees today.  Flip flops are not Christmas attire!  Christmas is supposed to be with family, but my family is 8,375 miles away.  Some days, with the help of technology, that feels just fine.  Today it doesn't.  Today feels like we are every one of those 8,375 miles away from home.  Don't get me wrong, we love it here.  We are having a great time.  Most days are really good.  We get tremendous joy out of being here, but some days are hard.  Really hard.  Soul crushingly hard.  And today is one of those days for me.  I hoped that it wouldn't be; I really did.  But I am way too emotional and sentimental to not grieve over the fact that I am not celebrating with my family for the first time in my life.  And then the guilt over how it makes our families feel.  I'm still a people pleaser all the way over here; some things won't ever change. 

But this is also one of the best Christmases we've had.  "But how can you say that with tears streaming down your face Deb?"  Thanks for asking; let me explain.  I didn't stress over Christmas this year.  I didn't spend weeks & months shopping for every person I know.  I didn't spend every night wrapping presents & finishing gifts until the wee hours of the morning.  I didn't spend too much money.  I didn't run myself (or my family) ragged.  I got to count down the days to Christmas and the birth of our Savior.  And we had a very quiet Christmas with very few presents (which they have been playing quietly with ALL day!).  And that's what I've always wanted.  I just wanted a simple Christmas.  Now, I do wish that all my loved ones were here for it, but I don't know if I can go back.  I just don't know that I can go back to the commercialized day that is all about gifts, and things, and money.  Because on this Christmas, more than any other, I get it.  Jesus, Emanuel - God is with us.  And He is!  He is with us here in India.  He is with you in Lynchburg, or Canada, or wherever you are.  He is with me on my worst day, and my best day.  That was His gift to me.  And that is the greatest gift.  It is a good day.

Miss you & love you all!

Humble Beginning

Christmas is a time of celebration of the birth of my savior, Jesus Christ.  It is such a special time, because it is the first time that God sent his son to us to identify with our fallen condition.  I sometimes have wondered why God, who is all-powerful, would choose such a humble way to showcase His glory: a baby born in an animal pen, using a manger as a bed.  A stable is certainly not the accommodation that the God of the universe deserves, is it?  He could have chosen anywhere for the birth of His son, yet he orchestrated such a modest beginning with only a star to alert the world to His presence.

I think the birth of Jesus helps us understand what is important to God.  We tend to think of pomp and circumstance as the appropriate measure of honor.  We tend to consider the trappings of wealth and privilege to be the measure of glory.  God sees things quite differently, though.  God values relationships with the people he created and loves.  God values our heart condition rather than parties, gifts, and ceremonies.  I believe that the humble birth of Jesus is God’s way of telling us that he loves us so much that he is willing to get down in this dirty world with us and identify with our condition.  From the very beginning He has been willing to suffer humanity so that one day we might accept Him as our savior and build a relationship with Him.

As for me, I am both humbled and honored that He would love us so much that he would become something so small.  This Christmas, as you celebrate the birth of Jesus with your friends and family, please remember that the God of the universe loves you deeply.  He loves you with an everlasting love, and He will do whatever it takes to pursue a relationship with you.  I ask that you consider sharing a story about how much he loves you with someone who may never have considered the love of Christ.  I believe that the best way to honor God is to continue the mission of reaching his people that He began in a stable so long ago.  May each of us answer his call to do so.

The Humbling

It is very humbling moving to a new country.  In the US, I drove my own car, communicated effectively, blended in, knew the rules and expectations for myself and my children.  Here, I know nothing.  I cannot even drive myself to the store.  I am at the mercy of other people every minute of the day.  We have a driver here.  (if you don't understand why, please google Indian driving and/or Indian traffic)  Although in theory it seems nice to have someone drive you around all the time, in reality it looks more like me crying, while riding around town, with my driver, well after dinner time, trying to find pizza hut, just so I can provide for my family.  I do not like to ask for help.  I do not like to feel dependent on other people (some may even call me stubborn), so this is all very difficult for me.  Humbling if you will.  Yesterday I saw 2 live turkeys outside the butcher shop.  I got SO excited!  Maybe we really could have a Thanksgiving after all!  Then I remembered that we don't have an oven.  (Oven's aren't really a thing here)  And there it was again, the humbling.  I cannot even take care of my family in the way that we are accustomed.  And that's frustrating, but ok.  I'm ok not having a turkey or a pie for Thanksgiving.  I really am.  That's not what we are here for.  Yesterday a boy asked me to pray for him because he had exams coming up at school, so naturally I prayed for him.  Done and done.  Not so fast Deb.  Then an older lady came up and in Telegu asked me to pray for her health.  They interpreted that she wanted a Christian to pray over her.  Check and double check.  So again, I prayed over this lady and her health issues.  Then another lady comes forward.  She matter of factly told me that she needed prayer because her husband has left her and now lives in another state.  Um, what?  I thought we were just keeping it light and easy here.  Tests and arthritis, I can handle.  Restoring a marriage, yikes.  So of course I got about 3 sentences into the prayer before I lost it.  I'm sobbing.  I am broken for this lady, who's entire life and future has been ripped out from under her.  And she's turning to me for help.  She thinks that I have the answers.  That is humbling.  I am not qualified to help her.  I am not qualified to do any work here.  I have no discernible talents to bring to the table.  I think Paul said it best when he said " I am the chief of sinners", because I am too.  But never in the bible did God call the qualified, or even the Righteous.  He called the screwups, he called the losers, he called the unremarkable.  Because His glory is revealed by working through the nobody.  So that's what this nobody is going to continue to do.  To take a hurting soul, and direct them to the only one who can heal/redeem/restore/make new.  Because at the end of the day, that's all I am, a road sign.  Pointing the way home.  And that is not humbling.  It is the greatest work.

We have arrived

We have arrived in India!  Finally.  It was a long journey getting here.  Literally and figuratively.  After 2 years of dreaming, hoping, praying, and stepping out in faith we have arrived at our destination.  And we are thrilled to be here.  The plane ride(s) was brutal.  The first leg is 13 hrs from DC, so, after 4 hours in the car we were ready to start the trip.  Did I mention that 2 out of 3 of our kids get motion sick?  Yep, it's not just for cars and boats apparently... There was so much vomiting.  keep in mind everyone is very concerned with Ebola and such, so I was terrified of getting put in quarantine.  The flight attendants kept asking me to fill out a form so they could contact a doctor in the states.  Um, no thanks.  The AC was broken on the flight.  There was straight heat pumping down onto my seat.  It was so bad, that the Indians on the flight complained about the heat.  It was so sweaty and uncomfortable.  Plus the vomiting kids, a tiny cramped plane for 13 hrs.  All I could think about was breaking a window to get some fresh air.  I figured the Air Marshall would understand.  When we landed in Abu Dhabi for our 2 hr layover, we realized that our late takeoff in DC only gave us a 20 minute layover.  So, yep, missed our flight.  We were so close, but still so far away.  I would have cried, but I was so dehydrated from the sauna flight that I didn't have any available liquid to spare.  Some wonderful man took pity on us (read: wanted my screaming kids out of his airport) and got us food vouchers (no Abu Dhabi money on us), a car service, and a hotel with breakfast buffet, and booked us on a flight for the next day.  We got to our hotel around 1:00 am UAE time.  I gave up trying to figure out American/Indian time at that point.  We tried to wash out our sweaty/vomity clothes in the bathroom, but our car was coming at 8:00 am, so it was a very short night.  Breakfast buffet was awesome.  Had some beef bacon (guys, don't waste your time.  it's NOT bacon!)  Made our flight, which was pretty uneventful.  Except the tv's were broken.  At least it was only 4 hours.  No barfing that go round.  Then we landed.  And it was glorious.  I'll have to tell you all about it...someday.

Finding Life

Why?

We get asked why a lot.  That is, IF people can form coherent sentence structure while in shock.  Most people cannot understand how we can willingly choose to walk away from our lives in America to go live in a third world nation.  This is not something that can easily be put into words, and certainly cannot be explained in a 5 minute conversation in Target, while the kids are screaming.  So, for those of you dying to know I thought that I'd try to explain as best I can.  This has not always been our plan, in fact this was never even on our radar until 2 years ago.  Two years ago we both travelled to India, and our lives were forever changed.  I was at a loss for words to describe my feelings, but then I read the book "Kisses from Katie" about an 18 year old American girl living in Uganda adopting and raising 13 orphans, and giving up her "life".  When I read this book I was in absolute shock.  How in the world did she pull the words out of my head that I could not articulate about a different country on a different continent???  Here is the passage from her book:

"In December 2006, my mom and I were on our way to Uganda, where we would spend three weeks volunteering in a home for abandoned or orphaned babies.  During those three weeks, I lost part of my heart to a place I'd never been before.  I fell in love with Uganda as soon as I arrived.  After I woke up the first morning of our stay, I looked around and saw glistening white smiles against ebony faces; I heard happy voices, lilting language, and gentle laughter.  I saw strength and depth of character in people's eyes.  I found Uganda to be a beautiful land filled with beautiful people.  

...The people who called this fascinating country home astounded me with their gracious kindness and gentle ways.  I watched, wide-eyed as cattle, goats, and chickens roamed freely through the villages while curious children wandered among the shacks and makeshift businesses (such as little stores that sell canned drinks or washbasins or airtime for cellular telephones)  In the town, I saw the kind of everyday life that happens in every society, in its own way, take place as people shopped along Jinja's main street, did their banking, or met friends and chatted on the sidewalk.  When I went to the villages, I witnessed men and women shucking corn, cooking,  talking among themselves, or simply sitting beside the road quietly taking in the happenings of village life.

  Whether I was in the town or out in a village, children were everywhere.  When they saw a person with a different color of skin, they giggled and shouted.  Some ran toward me with glee, others shrieked and fled at the sight of a foreigner.  Those who weren't afraid of me grabbed my hands eagerly, as though we had been friends forever.  It was easy for me to fall in love with them and their country, its enormous beauty juxtaposing extreme poverty.  

  Most of our time was spent working at the babies' home feeding, changing, teaching, and playing with the many children there.  The children as well as the women who worked in the orphanage inched their way into my heart, leaving their little handprints all over it.  I would never be the same.

  I left Uganda in tears at the end of our trip, the country and the people now a part of me.  I cried all the way back to Tennessee and knew that someday I would return.  I was forever ruined for comfort, convenience, and luxury, preferring instead challenge, sacrifice, and risking everything to do something I believed in.  I realized it as I bathed babies and changed diapers in the babies' home, as I met older children and threw stones into the river with them, and as I did everything I could do to meet the basic needs so evident around me.  My heart had found its joy as I served the beautiful people the world calls "poor" but who seemed so rich in love to me.  I have no doubt that God was preparing a longing in my heart for Uganda many years before I could even find this country on a map; there is no other explanation for the instant love I felt for this place and these people.  Though the red soil eventually wore off the soles of my feet, Uganda never left my heart and was never far from my mind."

That was me.  Change Uganda to India and that was me.  Sitting on a plane, pulling out of the Tarmac, sobbing my eyes out.  I wasn't relieved to be leaving and getting some American food, my comfortable bed, kissing my perfect sweet girls.  I was utterly heartbroken.  I was devastated to be leaving, and I had no idea why.  It was a while before I could even wade through it in my own mind.  I was homesick.  I am homesick.  Everyday that I am not in India, I am sad.  There is an ache in my heart that will always be there.  I am now torn between two worlds.  My "home", and my heart.  Won't I be homesick in India, you better believe it.  Saying goodbye to family, and friends closer than blood is brutal.  Heart wrenchingly brutal.  But, I can live with that pain, because I have important work to do.  And now my eyes and heart know what that work is.  I love what Matthew 10:39 says "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."  So thats what we are doing; Finding Life.

India - Some Facts & Figures

India is a fascinating place.  Unfortunately, most people outside of the culture know very little about it.  I compiled some stats from all around the web to help you get to know India better.

- India is 1/3 the size of the US

- It is the 7th largest country

- It is the largest democracy

- India has the 2nd largest population in the world (1.2 Billion people)

- It is slated to beat the population of China by 2028

- Delhi has 22.65 million people, surpassed only by Tokyo (New York City has 8.4 million people)

- India has 3 of the world's top 10 mega cities

- India gained its independence from British rule in 1947

- Every major world religion is represented, but India is 80% Hindu and 13% Muslim

- Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, & Sikhism all originated in India

- India has the 2nd largest Muslim population

- India has the world's largest movie industry.  Bollywood produces almost twice as many movies as Hollywood

- The Taj Mahal is a mausoleum built by the Emperor Shah Jahan after his wife died during the birth of their 14th child in 1631.  It took 22,000 workers 22 years to complete construction.


Unfortunately, there are some troubling statistics as well.

- India is called "The most dangerous place to be born a girl"

- It is the 3rd largest nation for human trafficking

- Estimates are as high as 3 million girls have been lost to infanticide in the last 10 years

- 42% of girls will drop out of school to take care of the home or siblings

- 40% of the population is illiterate

- Many live on less than $2 a day

- There are 12.4 million orphans, 1 million more added each year

- There are only 5,000 in country adoptions each year.  And not many more outside the country.

-10-15% of orphans will commit suicide by the age of 18.

So, what will we be doing to help?

First we will be working with a group that has a boys and girls home already established.  We want to provide a stable and nurturing home to these children that are deemed as cast offs of society. Secondly, we will be providing an education for these same children, who otherwise would not be able to afford school.  Thirdly, child sponsorships.  We want to allow you to invest in these children and see where your money is going and how it is making a difference.

That's a little summary of where we will be going, and what we will be doing.  We can't wait.

Naan

Naan:

An oven-baked flatbread.  In Iran it is the generic word for bread.  In other parts of South Asia it refers to a specific kind of thick flatbread.  It is cooked in a tandoori oven.  Served hot and usually brushed with butter or ghee.  Used to scoop other foods or can be stuffed with a filling.  It's earliest recording in literature dates back to 1810.

 

 

*citing Wikipedia as a source.  Kind of.

It's Go Time

T minus 27 days until departure.