The Humbling

It is very humbling moving to a new country.  In the US, I drove my own car, communicated effectively, blended in, knew the rules and expectations for myself and my children.  Here, I know nothing.  I cannot even drive myself to the store.  I am at the mercy of other people every minute of the day.  We have a driver here.  (if you don't understand why, please google Indian driving and/or Indian traffic)  Although in theory it seems nice to have someone drive you around all the time, in reality it looks more like me crying, while riding around town, with my driver, well after dinner time, trying to find pizza hut, just so I can provide for my family.  I do not like to ask for help.  I do not like to feel dependent on other people (some may even call me stubborn), so this is all very difficult for me.  Humbling if you will.  Yesterday I saw 2 live turkeys outside the butcher shop.  I got SO excited!  Maybe we really could have a Thanksgiving after all!  Then I remembered that we don't have an oven.  (Oven's aren't really a thing here)  And there it was again, the humbling.  I cannot even take care of my family in the way that we are accustomed.  And that's frustrating, but ok.  I'm ok not having a turkey or a pie for Thanksgiving.  I really am.  That's not what we are here for.  Yesterday a boy asked me to pray for him because he had exams coming up at school, so naturally I prayed for him.  Done and done.  Not so fast Deb.  Then an older lady came up and in Telegu asked me to pray for her health.  They interpreted that she wanted a Christian to pray over her.  Check and double check.  So again, I prayed over this lady and her health issues.  Then another lady comes forward.  She matter of factly told me that she needed prayer because her husband has left her and now lives in another state.  Um, what?  I thought we were just keeping it light and easy here.  Tests and arthritis, I can handle.  Restoring a marriage, yikes.  So of course I got about 3 sentences into the prayer before I lost it.  I'm sobbing.  I am broken for this lady, who's entire life and future has been ripped out from under her.  And she's turning to me for help.  She thinks that I have the answers.  That is humbling.  I am not qualified to help her.  I am not qualified to do any work here.  I have no discernible talents to bring to the table.  I think Paul said it best when he said " I am the chief of sinners", because I am too.  But never in the bible did God call the qualified, or even the Righteous.  He called the screwups, he called the losers, he called the unremarkable.  Because His glory is revealed by working through the nobody.  So that's what this nobody is going to continue to do.  To take a hurting soul, and direct them to the only one who can heal/redeem/restore/make new.  Because at the end of the day, that's all I am, a road sign.  Pointing the way home.  And that is not humbling.  It is the greatest work.